Funny Quotes that I remember from Middle and High School

Funny Quotes that I remember from Middle and High School

I was looking at some old journals and things yesterday from middle school and high school, and I found some really cool stuff. And a lot of it was pretty hilarious. I shall share some of it here, because somebody might get a kick out of it.

The funniest quote from my middle school poetry journal is from a short script I wrote about Bob, who is arguing with some dude, because he is convinced that he is an illusion (this script was making a joke out of existentialism). They get pretty mad at each other, and then another person walks in, and says this great little line:

“Sir, you should stop arguing with the illusion, because you know you can’t win.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I took a trip to Europe in 2007, with People to People (a government sponsored student organization).

On this trip we had an awesome Belgian bus driver, Danny. Wow. If I had to pick the single most hilarious person I have ever met, it would be him. And I have met some highly entertaining people. He was like my 20something year old goofy older brother during the trip.

His most memorable antic was when we were getting on the bus to go from one city to the next.
As we were all loading our luggage onto the bus, he took my suitcase and said to me “There’s no room on the bus for it.” Then he attached it to the hitch on the back of the bus, acting all serious. “I’m sorry, this is the only way.” He left it there until we all got on the bus. Then when we got off a few hours later, I went to find my suitcase, and he had put it back on the hitch.

Best quote of the same trip:

"The place appears to be occupied by Americans"

A European guy, said this to his friend, as they were walking past the hotel that me and a group of students were staying in somewhere in Switzerland

In my freshman year of high school, I had to put together a project together on the Odyssey. It was compiled in a folder, and at the back of it, I wrote some amusing, caffeine induced acknowledgements:

“Acknowledgements:

Caffeine!
My cold tea
My clock that won’t work
Homer
The color orange

In my sophomore year of high school, the following hilarious dialogue happened in youth group, between my youth pastor and my best friend:

Youth Pastor: Tonight we will be talking about a three letter word that starts with "s", that you all are very uncomfortable with"
Angela (standing up, shouting) "SEX!!!!"
Youth Pastor: "I was actually going to say "sin", I don't know what YOU were thinking"

And last, but not least, I have an old card from my crazy first boyfriend, in my junior year of high school (it is a reference to an inside joke, but it’s still pretty funny:

“Love is like a jelly-filled doughnut! Don’t ask me why it’s like a jelly-filled doughnut, but it is!!!!!!!!!”
“Oh, and Voldemort says hi….”

That’s all my quotes for the moment. And now I will go encounter some more!

Growing Up is Wierd

One of the most amazing things in life is the experience of growing up. Seeing how much we, and the people around us, have grown and changed, is awe inspiring. But it is also strange, and a bit disorienting.

The most striking examples of such astounding growth in my own life are my oldest friends, Libby, Lena, and Katy. We met when we were in sixth grade. When I shyly sat next to them at lunch for the first time, there was no way I could have imagined that 9 years later we would be best friends. It is mind boggling to think of how much we have changed since then.

I remember when Libby and Lena were quiet, shy and had few friends.
I remember when Katy was an awkward, overweight, reclusive child.
I remember when I was an oversensitive, socially inept, extremely shy girl who did not know how to make friends.

But now we have changed. The years have passed, and we have grown tremendously...
Libby has become a dramatic and endlessly conversational butterfly.
Now Lena has grown to be a sensitive, imaginative, friendly individual.
Katy is now a beautiful, funny, and brilliant philosopher.
I have matured into to an energetic, outgoing, artist who can- and does- make friends with everybody.

But as much as we have changed, it is also remarkable to think about how we still have many of the same characteristics that we once had, and how our early struggles led to our current success.

Libby and Lena's quiet nature has allowed them to become exceptional listeners. They keep their friends close, and are there for them no matter what. And they have grown in creativity as a result of living in their imaginations all their lives.
Katy's tendency to isolate herself from other people has played an integral role in her intellectual growth, and has encouraged her strong independence. Because of  her previous low self image and social awareness, Katy had come to value her beauty and relationships.
I, too, highly value my friendships, as a result of having so few when I was young. And what used to be painfully heightened sensitivity has grown into empathy and a deep care for other people.

Remembering who we used to be, and seeing how far we have come, is mind blowing. And it is almost disconcerting to see how far we have come from where we had been.

Yet, as uncanny as the dramatic changes in our personalities are, the fact that we are still ourselves is reassuring.  And I am indescribably comforted by the knowledge that we will always be there for each other.

The Universe is Beautiful

It is so easy to forget how massive, and how beautiful, our universe is. And, when looking at pictures of the galaxies, planets, stars, and supernovas, I have a tough time wrapping my mind around the fact that that is our universe, and not some digitally rendered image.

The Bible is My Favorite

You might have heard people say things along the lines of "life is happy and Bible stories are fun and if you follow Jesus everything will be o.k."  But I beg to differ...

The stories found in the Bible are not happy fairy tales we tell to kids before they go to sleep (although some people manage to make it seem that way); most of these stories are brutal depictions of life's toughest moments. 
I do not know who may end up reading this blog (and I am not going to assume that everyone who does read it believes as I do- in fact I hope not. I want some variety among my readers), but regardless of your religious, philosophical, or otherwise worldview determining mode of thought, I think that once you hear some of those stories, you'll agree that they're flipping awesome. And if you already know the Bible, you might find something new.

There are records of strong, sometimes unexpected leaders... Deborah, a woman- normally considered an inferior member of society- who leads an entire nation in war and national affairs.

There are back stories of famous people... Moses killing one of his fellow countryman, and hiding in a foreign land when the king finds out (the last thing he expected was to talk face to face with God)... Abraham (the first of the line of the God's nation, Israel) who told the rulers in the countries he visited that his wife was his sister- so they would not kill him to possess her- and wound up letting her be taken by unknowing, but otherwise honorable, kings.

There are accounts of flawed heroes... King David, a ruler chosen by God, who murdered one of his officers, and took his wife for himself.


And there are plenty of gruesome  things  such as an unassuming woman hammering a tent-peg into the head of an enemy king as he is sleeping in her tent... And an account of a tyrannical king who gets assassinated by a clever warrior-ruler... and this king happens to be so ENORMOUS that the sword that impales him gets swallowed up by his fat.

There's even a story of a bunch of young guys who get attacked by bears, because they insult a bald prophet.

This description barely even scratches the surface of how great the Bible is, but it should shed some light on why I like it so darn much.

You can expect me to go on many more rants on this subject.

Topaz and Bronze

In my search for a cool blog name, I decided to turn to one of my favorite things. The Bible.
See my next post for a description of why exactly it is so awesome (you may be surprised by what I have to say).

The section of the text that I would like to describe is a vision that is seen by the prophet daniel, after he has intensely prayed and fasted for his nation, which it is about to be devastated by war.

"On the twenty-fourth day of the first month, as I was standing on the bank of the great river... I looked up and there before me was a man dressed in linen, with a belt of fine gold from... around his waist. His body was like topaz, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude. "

The identity of the man shown in this terrifying vision is pretty well debated by scholars. One theory is that this is an appearance of Christ. But whatever the case, it is a pretty intense scene.

Regardless of the meaning, I am always awestruck by this description. I am reminded by the majesty of this scene of the magnificence of the world we live in; as amazing as what we see around us is, there is so much that we are unaware of. Life is full of things that we know, and many things we are yet to discover.
But no matter how much I do or do not understand, there is one thing I do know...

Life is glorious.